So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
