You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
