Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
