Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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