If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?