shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.