I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle