I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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