I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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