i just google imaged poop.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize