i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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