the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize