what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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