if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
