He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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