Quick, to the slutcave!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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