Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
