Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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