So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
