Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
