Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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