Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize