It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
