will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
