I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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