I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
