I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
