I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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