I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
