Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
