You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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