I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
