I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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