I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
