hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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