therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
