Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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