What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
