dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
