Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
