4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
