My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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