I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
