im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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