come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
