After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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