Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
