i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize