umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize