Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
