I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
