went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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