I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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