ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
