puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
