just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im six kinds of drunk right now
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He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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