Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
