I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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