its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize