There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
