i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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