do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
