Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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