This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
