life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
