Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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