plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
